Chapter 3
Philip Edward was born February 4, 1950, at the small hospital in Van Wert, Ohio. He was really a good baby, and I had lots of milk. But I was very nervous and insecure in the role of mother at that time. I called the Dr. several times a week with a long list of questions. My milk gradually disappeared as my nervousness kept on. That's how it looks in retrospect, anyway. I didn't feel that Bernie was as sympathetic as I would have liked. My labor and delivery were very easy. He made the remark that I could have dropped the baby and gone on with my work like a peasant in a field. That hurt! He was a proud father, but he seemed not to want to show it, especially to me. So Philip had to have a formula and that made me feel like I was letting him down. Well, I got through that. We took walks when the weather was nice, and we got through it. The trailer was a lot smaller with a baby in it! Bernie built a kind of porch over a flat-bed trailer he'd made when we moved from Bluffton. We had a refrigerator and the washer there. I'd keep the carriage/stroller out there and Philip napped there in all weather. He thrived.
We visited Dearborn on occasional weekends, and New York in the summer. We had given up Jehosephat and acquired a '49 Ford coupe'. Mom J. had an annuity come due or something, and Bernie had been the beneficiary, so she wanted him to use it to get a new car. Our first new car! It was very nice. We had to take it out right away for a test drive. It was super.
Then, on one of our trips to Dearborn, we were running late for a meeting Bernie was to attend for the school, and we tried taking a short-cut. As we raced down a country road, we came to a rut someone had cut--probably to stop speeders like us--and couldn't slow soon enough to avoid it. We jolted so that my head hit the windshield and made a star! I was holding Philip and instinctively curled myself around him so that the back of my head hit. No one was hurt, but we checked out the bump on my head when we got to Dearborn. Like Li'l Abner, I'd hit the hardest part of my body! Thank you, Lord!
When we got to Dearborn with our story, my father told us one of his own. He worked at the factory that made those cars. He was a 'portly' man, so he'd been invited, along with several other heavy gentlemen, to test ride this particular model. When they all got inside, they couldn't open the doors to get out! I didn't get the details on how they did get out. Apparently the frame was weak. Our coupe was out of line after our jolt, but it worked all right.
When the opportunity came to get a different vehicle, we did. It was a '49 Kaiser. It was quite a different beast from the light-weight Ford. It was classed as a 1-1/2 ton truck in weight. It was a wonderful car. The back seats folded down, the back opened up with a tailgate and lifted, like more modern station wagons. Yet it looked like a sedan. It served us well for quite a while, pulling the trailer when we needed that, and other utilitarian tasks.
From Convoy, Ohio, we moved to Ames, Iowa, where Bernie entered graduate school. We were in student housing again, corrugated duplex buildings with living-dining area, kitchen, bath, and two bedrooms. This complex was called Pammel Court, at Iowa State University, Agricultural College. Bernie had to make a choice at one point, to take either Psychology or something else. He chose Psychology and went on to get his MS in Psychology. For both his Bluffton graduation, and the one from Ames, Bernie chose not to go thru the exercises with cap & gown. When, later on, Philip chose to graduate in a wrinkled gown over jeans and tennis shoes, I was disappointed, but he was following a precedent of sorts!
During his graduate training, Bernie took part in several trips to try out an experimental testing program for children. It became the Iowa test still in use. The trips took him traveling, which he liked. He'd come back to tell about places he'd seen, stayed or experienced, and talked about taking us to see some day in the future.
Job applications went out and plans were made to move again. The position accepted was as Special Education Supervisor for a number of counties in Northeastern Iowa. We looked for and found a 60-year-old house in Fayette, just north of Oelwein.
Once again, I was pregnant during the move.
While living in Ames, we visited Uncle Robert's family quite often, and would stay over the weekend. They visited us occasionally, also, being interested in activities at an agricultural college. There was the annual Veisha celebration. (The letters in Veisha were taken from the different Schools in the University. I don't remember them all any more).
We made some good friends while living in Pammel Court. Next door to us, and sharing the same back yard were Grendel (Mac) and Phyllis McKimpsons and their daughter Jeanne, who played with Philip every day. Across the street were Donn and Mary Ann Williams and their son, Todd. Another neighbor was Warren and Marilyn Davidson, and their daughter Patty. There were several others, but those three have kept in touch over the years. We had about five children the same age in the immediate neighborhood. At one time we took turns having all the children in the morning, giving the mothers four free mornings to do what they wanted. It was nice.
One of my mornings was spent visiting Mr. Holmes, of the Psychology Dept., for counseling. I was going thru some tough times, for some reason. I was a yeller, a screamer, and pretty awful at time. Bernie considered me a spoiled brat, and I guess I was. My mother had said I was, and she ought to know! I, of course, didn't think so at the time.
I wanted Bernie to be more "romantic," meaning more thoughtful of my feelings and what I liked. I thought I was doing that for him, with no return. I began to feel that all he wanted me for was sex, and it wasn't that great for me. I wasn't trying very hard, as I look back on it. I wasn't considering his point of view, and all that he was working with to get the education he felt he needed and wanted. We went around and around with it.
By the time we were about ready to move from Ames, I was pregnant, and we thought that would help things. When we told Uncle Robert and Aunt Beulah, we were quite happy about it.
Interesting note: Aunt Beulah was sure that it would be a boy. While we were living in Bluffton, I had started having some pains in my lower right side. The Bluffton doctor felt a lump, but didn't say what he thought it was. When we went to NY that fall to stay for a while between time at Bluffton, Dr. Hodkin operated, thinking it would be a problem with the appendix. He found the appendix to be fine, but took it out anyway. What he found was a tumor, about the size of a walnut, in the fallopian tube. Analysis showed it to be slow-growing cancer and fast-growing non-cancer. Fortunately, the slow growing and the non-cancer were combined so that it was benign! The fallopian tube was removed, and that was that. Because of this, Aunt Beulah was sure that since I already had one boy, the second would be a boy also. According to her theory, the remaining tube was the boy side!
We brought our furniture back to Fayette, carrying it on the flat-bed trailer, and pulling it with our Kaiser. The Kaiser did a great job of pulling our house-trailer to Fayette as well. That trailer was well built, and heavy. Then we got my piano from my parent's house in Dearborn, and settled in to the lovely old house. Our first home property!
We carried the piano in the back of the Kaiser with the tailgate down. When we went through the toll gate of the Pennsylvania Turnpike, the man in the station came out to look all around our vehicle. Then he came to the window and said he thought we were pulling a small trailer. He'd been looking for a wheel support under the tailgate.
The Fayette house stood on a quarter-acre of land on a corner across from what was then called Upper Iowa University. It was a small college, taking up what would be a city block of the town, at the top of a hill. It mainly taught teachers, but had other courses as well. I wasn't the least interested in taking any courses. Being a wife and mother was taking all the time I had.
The house had a living room, dining room, big kitchen, bath, screened back porch, three bedrooms upstairs and a sort of finished basement downstairs. It had suffered some changes over time, and seen some neglect, but it was home to us. Bernie rewired everything from the basic 'telephone' wiring it started with. There was a garden of wild flowers, an old, unused well, and some asparagus coming up here and there, said to be remnants of an asparagus field in years past.
The other corner facing the college had the home of a wonderful neighbor lady who became a friend too. She was older, and we kept in touch until she died. We stayed with her at one time when we came back to visit Fayette.
Daniel Arthur was born February 24, 1954, at the hospital in West Union, about 8 miles North of Fayette. As it was in Convoy, the town was too small for a hospital of its own. The doctor, was new to town and Daniel was one of his first babies there.
Bernie traveled three days of the week, as a Special Education Supervisor for 23 counties in Northeast Iowa, and wrote his reports the other two. His headquarters was in West Union, but they supplied him with typewriter, which I used to type up his reports from a wire tape recorder he used. I would type up his reports while he was gone. It worked well. I even got a small 'allowance' for doing it! That was valuable experience for the future I had no idea was coming up.
Philip and I would walk to the Post Office every day, which was good exercise for me! We made friends along the way. Madge Benton was one of the neighbors we'd pass on our daily walks. She lived by herself and had lovely flowers in her garden. She and the next-door neighbor invited me to join their garden club. It was mostly 'old maids,' but they treated me royally and I felt welcome. There was another club I was invited to join, of the 'elite' society of the town. It was flattering, but that was definitely not for me. The doctor and his wife were members, along with others with whom I felt very much out of place. Bernie never said much about it, because he didn't go for those things, either, but I think he thought I should have joined that one. He never let me forget that I was holding him back by not playing bridge or other parlor games.
Philip's fourth birthday that year was interesting. Whenever we'd walk to town, we'd do our grocery or other shopping as we walked along. Philip made friends with all the shop-keepers. He had definite ideas as to how he would spend any birthday money he'd receive. When the birthday came, I sent him with a note, and he did the shopping himself! I still can't believe how mature he was at 4!
One of his gifts from Uncle Victor was a gun & holster set. He had the boots and hat, and these completed his cowboy outfit. He had quite a collection of toy cowboys, horses, etc. He had a great time shooting the people in the stores, and delighted in having them pretend being hit. Since then, I've changed my mind about giving toy guns to children.
As the time approached for the birth, I was doing fine with my weight. I had morning sickness longer than I thought I should, but the doctor said everything was fine. My appetite was small, and that was different. It had been that way with Philip too. The due date was about the same as it had been for Philip, Feb. 12. Philip surprised us by coming early. Now the due date came and went and nothing was happening!
Bernie was gone on one of his trips, and Wednesday, Feb. 24 arrived as usual. The contractions started and the "show" appeared before Bernie arrived home that night. About 6pm, I called the doctor to report, and he would have taken me to the hospital, but Bernie arrived in time. We got to the hospital before the doctor, and there was one nurse in charge, who seemed flustered. I was glad this was not my first child. The doctor had told me to instruct her to give me an enema, but she didn't.
Things moved along quickly, as they had with Philip, so I was ready when the doctor got there. He was telling the nurse everything--like where to find the rubber gloves, etc. While 'prepping' me, my water broke all over her! That was almost funny. Then Daniel Arthur Jacobson appeared--all 9.5 lb.. and 23" of him! I stayed at the hospital for six days. That was less than the 10 days with Philip. I did request that, though, because of our home being a trailer with no room for anyone to come in to help.
There was another baby born the day after Daniel, and we shared a room. I haven't kept up with them. I wasn't as nervous with Daniel, and he was a very good baby. His size made him almost like a 3-month-old, as far as handling was concerned. Philip was a good "big brother" also.
My mother decided to come for a visit this time, and she arrived shortly after the birth. She didn't do anything to help me. She wanted to feed the baby, but I was nursing successfully this time. She didn't want to change diapers. She said she was on 'vacation.' She was thrilled with her train trip, having been invited to the engine and had a good visit with the conductor and engineer.
Uncle Robert and Aunt Beulah came while Mom was with us. She didn't help prepare the lunch, either--sat and visited with them while I was wondering what to fix and then fixing it. I was not happy!
During our time in Fayette, we adopted a tiger-striped cat and a spaniel dog. The dog was Philip's, and he was delighted with it. When it came time to make our trip East for the summer, we couldn't find anyone to care for the animals, so we had to find a new home for Olie, the dog, and just let the cat go. That was not a good thing, but we had no choice.
Shortly before Daniel was born, we acquired a Great Dane puppy, supposed to guard us while Bernie was away. That was not a good idea! The 'puppy' was large and strong. We fed him ground beef heart, and discovered it was good for us too. (For quite a while after finding the dog a new home, we used ground heart ourselves.) The dog preferred Bernie, and I couldn't handle him, so we found him a new home.
I made some good friends while living in Fayette. One neighbor, Helen Bitterman, had children close to Philip's age, as did another, Ethel Gillette. Another friend was and still is, Dee Nicholson. Dee took classes at Upper Iowa University, across the street from us. Her children were a little older, but she and I are about the same age. We still write on a regular basis. Helen and Ethel keep in touch at Christmas too. Ethel's older son lived in Fairbanks. When his first child was born, she came and we had a visit. Then she was here again when a grandchild was married. The son, Bill, died of a heart attack in between those events.
Also while living in Fayette, I started donating blood. When it was determined that my blood type was O, Rh negative, I was called to donate for a woman needing surgery. From then on, I gave blood whenever I could until blood pressure medication prevented donation.
We attended the Methodist Church in Fayette; it was just the next block from our house. Daniel was baptised there. I helped in the nursery occasionally, but didn't get very involved otherwise. At Christmas one year, people garthered to sing "The Messiah." That was my first time and I loved it!
Bernie was an excellent Special Education Supervisor, but he wanted to get into education more, so decided to go back to school. Typing his reports was interesting for me, and I was very proud of his work. Probably his best accomplishment was getting an autistic child to speak. Good as he was with this, he didn't like doing it. He thought being in more of a supervisory position would be better.
His title notwithstanding, he wasn't really supervising anything!
So off we went to Cedar Falls, Iowa, where he went to work on his Master's Degree. There we lived a block from the college. Philip was enrolled in the college Kindergarten and started playing a scaled down bass viol. We made friends with people there who remain on my Christmas list also. There were some very nice people there too.
We had the downstairs of a large house which had been divided into two apartments. Large rooms, sliding doors, it was really nice. We even had our first fireplace, though we didn't use it much. I had my first dishwasher there, also.
Bernie earned his MS in Psychology there. During the course of it, he had to undergo some psychotherapy himself. That was a very good time, and I often thought back to it and wished more of whatever he had done in the course had stuck with him.
Our church home in Cedar Falls was a Lutheran Church which catered to the college people, and was close to our house. The minister lived close by as well.
At Cedar Falls, we could visit with my cousins Roberta and Arlene. Roberta was living there, and Arlene was a student at the college. (I wish I could remember what it was called then! She was a music major.) That was a good time.
I typed Bernie's final paper for his degree. We rented an electric typewriter for the job--my first experience with such a beast. What a change from the manual!
I finally got my drivers' license in Cedar Falls. Having Bernie teach me was traumatic, and I took the drivers' test twice, but I did make it at last! After that we bought a used Rambler with automatic drive, and I really liked that little car. It was a far cry from the Kaiser in which I'd taken the test.
From Cedar Falls, we went to Goose Lake, Iowa, a very small community with a consolidated school. They needed a new Superintendent and Bernie applied for and got the job. Philip, Daniel and I stayed in Cedar Falls till he had things arranged for us to move.
On his last trip back from Goose Lake, Bernie had an accident. He was driving the Rambler and it was totaled! The picture in the paper was awful. Bernie had cracked ribs and broken wrist. He's had Philip with him for the start of first grade in Goose Lake, and Philip was bruised and shaken up, but not seriously hurt. He had been sleeping in the reclined seat and slid forward under the dash. They were very, very lucky! The passenger in the other car was killed. Our insurance company put us on a 'black list' after that and we had to pay the highest premiums for seven years.
Bernie and Philip were in a hospital at Mequoketa (sp?). That weekend we were to move. Arrangements had been made for a mover, and Uncle Robert and Aunt Beulah came to help. They stayed the night and then drove the Kaiser to Goose Lake. On the way, we stopped to pick up Bernie and Philip at the hospital.
At Goose Lake, the people came to help us get settled, brought food and were very kind. We had good neighbors there too. The Superintendents house was the biggest we've had before or since, and it was nice. We had a large livingroom, dining room, a large kitchen and entry with stairs to the second floor on the first floor. Upstairs were four bedrooms and bathroom. We bought surplus Army bunk beds for the boys, refinishing them to cover the Army olive drab. They had a bedroom for a playroom.
Daniel loved to ride his tricycle everywhere and was never without a hat on his head. He had quite a reputation for that. It was usually a man's fedora hat and he loved it!
Bernie had hoped to have more input with the school system as a Superintendent, but it didn't work out that way. Now he was responsible to the School Board. After a year of that, he decided we needed something different, and started looking at other options.
While at Goose Lake, we attended church at communities on either side of it; there were no churches in Goose Lake. We found Methodist churches and attended them alternate Sundays. Most of the people in Goose Lake were either Lutheran or Catholic. We made friends with one of the Methodist pastors, the Eldrenkamps, and kept in touch for many years afterward.
We moved our packed belongings into two rooms at the back of a local kind of general store for two months or so, cooked on a hot plate and "made do" temporarily. Then, after the summer of searching, Bernie accepted a position with the Army as a Human Factors Engineer at Rock Island Arsenal, Illinois. We moved into an apartment complex in Moline, IL. There we had neighbors, Bill and Theda Massey, who had children around the ages of our children. I went to church with them sometimes, and learned about the Baptists for the first time. Their services were different from what I was used to, but they believed in the same God!
The Massey's are still on my Christmas card list too. Our apartment was tiny and we had the walls lined with packed boxes, but it was fine for a year or so. We were back to using a card table for eating, and so on, and it was home. Philip was in school, taking swimming lessons, and Daniel was doing fine with me at home.
Our trusty Kaiser died on us during our stay in Moline, and we got a used Plymouth. I drove that to take Philip to swimming, but didn't do much driving in Moline. It was a big city. I wasn't up to that! During one of the swimming classes, Philip dived in too shallow and hit his front teeth. The dentist said they would turn dark, and they did. On our trip to visit in NY that summer, we were given some hope about what could be done when he reached 16, but that didn't develop into anything.
After a year in Moline, and my becoming pregnant again, it was time to move on.